narcissi-silly

Occupy attention.

2011-10-17T22:04:00.000+01:00

It's no joke, it's funny cos it's true!

2011-10-17T22:03:00.002+01:00

Comedy is something i love dearly. So why am i irritated by classmates getting giddy about going to see Peter Kay? Peter Kay is a very funny man, as is his kindred, Michael McIntyre. Many times have i seen their performances (recorded) and laughed and been entertained. I've enjoyed conversations about their gags and catchphrases, but the overarching thing they leave me with is an emptiness.

People have a go at these funny men, as much as they're revered as national treasures, claiming them 'unfunny'. It's not that they're unfunny, it's that they have aligned themselves with some of the more vacuous elements of our contemporary culture. And this is root of my disdain.

Comedy is an incredibly powerful thing. Both McIntyre and Kay have understood and run with the principle of the truth being a funny thing, but the truths they highlight are so inane and safe that it is almost without point, save the simple value of laughter. But with so much injustice, hypocrisy and oppression around, and it all so ripe for being addressed and ridiculed, i get angry that they participate in the status quo. They serve to make the satisfied smile, and then sell short, with great enormity, the real power, privilege, and potential of their artform.

grand slam.

2011-10-17T22:03:00.000+01:00

RWC '11.

Sam Warburton sending off costs Wales a chance at winning the title. That the referee was an Irish (Ireland having been knocked out by Wales in the previous round) francophile who speaks the language, regularly visits, has family who live there and, indeed, whose father IS French, had no bearing whatsoever on that infamous split second decision i'm sure. Check his name for goodness sake: Alain Colm Pierre Rolland.

Bitter? Devastated.
Proud? Abso-leeking-lutely!!!

Blog off!

2011-10-17T22:02:00.001+01:00

So, I've not been here since June, and that was just to share some previously unobserved similarities between Quentin Tarantino and Richard Kiel. There is about to be a blog blow-out of about 3 posts at once so brace thyself and take cover. Let the nonsense rain down.

Separated at birth...?

2011-06-20T13:00:00.000+01:00

Can't believe i've only just clocked this...

Quentin Tarantino off that CSI episode

Richard Kiel off Jaws from James Bond

Am i hearing the government right?

2011-04-05T14:25:00.007+01:00

Government: We know that technically you didn't elect us, and that also, because we're a coalition government, we're not accountable to any particular manifesto (well, haha, we're not accountable to those PR goose-steps at the best of times). The thing is though, we're faced with this massive deficit in the budget so we're going to roll up our sleeves and be bold enough to make some potentially unpopular decisions to sort it all out. You need strong, forthright, committed leadership, and that's us.

Let's forget about the tuition fees fiasco for now. And let's look past the National Forests debacle too (we were only joking about that anyway. Haha). The real point is this - we're in a right state, and even though we bailed out the banks, whose speculation set us on this path and who are now recording profit again, we're not going to look for money from them. It's not a debt they owe, and nor do they have any moral responsibility whatsoever to bail the state out. No, they are solely a money-making enterprise so it's good to see them doing just that. If anything, it's morally wrong of us to expect from them anything other than concern for themselves. Goooooo, the banks!! In all honesty, that's just an aside too.

This is what really matters. We're in this mess, and we're in alone, so what we need to do is cut as much as possible as soon as possible, regardless of the seeming importance of the things we cut. Numbers matching up is what matters, people don't. We've developed an easy 8 step plan to fix this stuff. This plan has been devised by special government monkeys (with assistance from the special government ninjas' department) who've been working in the secret lab under the houses of Parliament round the clock on it.

1. The special government monkeys have decided the best thing is to cut public services (proper people should be able to privately afford the cut services anyway, so that's no biggie). This will save the government money, so it's good.

B. Most of the people who lose their jobs will probably be over 50 or part time, or both, so that doesn't really count. (The special magic Part 2. of this part of the plan involves ignoring that people are now supposed to work until they're 70, and that instead they'll most likely have to survive with no income whatsoever for up to 20 years). This will save the government money, so it's good.

D. We'll cut loads of benefits - all of them hopefully. This will help stop the jobless wasting their time at the jobcentre and actually force them to find work. People should get to work shouldn't they. This will also save the government a lot of money, so it's good.

VI. Of course, the ex-full-timers who rely on their wages for things like living, and who are now work-liberated, can boost the economy in all their new leisure time by A) not claiming benefits that no longer exist B) volunteering and C) shopping and sight seeing. This will stimulate the economy, so it's good. And it's nice to volunteer isn't it; give a bit back.

8. All those people who used to have jobs can also choose to start their own businesses from nothing, with nothing, and with zero support (support would cost the government money, that's bad, but choosing stuff is good). Failing that they can work in the private sector which will be booming because of the clever 12th point of the plan (as listed above).

This 8 step plan is therefore a good plan that will get everything back in order. Yes it will be difficult for a short while, but it will only be difficult for small groups like the poor, the old, maybe women, and maybe those communities who were just beginning to get themselves together following the closing of the mines all those years ago, but they're a resourceful bunch. Still here telling the whiney little tale after all, aren't they. These are the people who are not only in the best position for us to take money from, but they also probably owe the most. Somehow. Well done monkeys!

The British public: IN WHAT WAY DOES THIS LEAD TO RECOVERY? YOU'RE LEADING US DOWN A BLIND ALLEY! IS IT YOUR STUPIDITY OR THE DESTRUCTION THAT'S WILLFUL?

Andy Amoss: I'm no economist, and i'm even less an economic historian but i find THIS very compelling, very important and a little bit frightening. Please give it a look.

- And two bonus videos, one serious, one funny (albeit darkly):

Society Housekeeping

2011-03-31T15:02:00.004+01:00

Of 'The Housekeeping Society', and their album This Way To Power, this much can be said:
The music is crafted with intelligence, but it isn't just clever, it's strikingly, achingly, beautiful too. Their concept leads to something which is a lot of fun and very playful via first appearing needlessly odd, and then holding that thought long enough to realise its real depth. If that doesn't sound like enough, then you should also be made aware that it offers a very timely opportunity for reflection on the dramatic changes in British culture, and the wider world, that took place in the snap-shot that was last century.

The album, including a rhythm section partly comprised of mill sounds, is a 'Neo-Prog-Folk-Pop' imagining of life and thought in English Northern mill towns in and around the 1880s. As i said: dramatic changes (i mentioned fun, oddity and depth too though, didn't i?). Change in itself is a neutral thing, subject wholly to what something was and what it is becoming, and even the term 'progress' is relative. So where now we allow indoor toileting et al to deceive us into thinking 'we've come a long way since those days', one of the big questions the album poses is how far have we really come and what has it cost us?

That the concept was born out of the realisation that none of the members of the band are from where they now live is a hint to how heavy a theme community is. In this country we have more freedom with better rights, we're wealthier and better educated than we were, but we're also more fragmented, distrustful and with a weakened sense of identity. To take this theme in the album (particularly given its location in manufacture) to its next step brings to mind thoughts about the 'global village'. We can't go on about the importance of our prize winning rights and freedoms without taking responsibility for the people around the world who are enslaved to manufacture fabrics and clothing for us. Shipping problems like child labour and Dickensian working conditions abroad for us to safely consume from a distance doesn't actually improve much at all.

We can also add to this comment a topical note. There's a line in The Wire series 2 that says "We used to make shit in this country, build shit. Now we just put our hand in the next guy's pocket". Spoken about America, but true too for the UK. The political and economic situation we currently face in the UK is reminiscent of the last time the Conservatives were in power. We were still in an industrial era then, and they privatised what they could and disposed of the rest, most notably the mines. That was the final shift away from the era centered on by The Housekeeping Society, and it was one which devastated communities.

When you take on a whole century or more, the scope and seriousness of the issues you'll face is huge. When you focus on industry and community, all the more so.

Part of what's so clever about the whole thing is the way the songs relate to stories and life in those settings, with both personal resonances, and socio-economic resonances, that reach right across 130 years or so. Hope, ambition, despair, love, work, freedom; it's all there, nothing changes.

If you're interested in the band and their album, here's 3 suggestions:

1. Make a cup of tea and check out a fuller introduction to them and their music on BBC Introducing.

2. For those in and around West Yorkshire, their 3rd (3rd!!) album launch gig is

	11 April · 19:00 - 20:30

	Wakefield Arts Centre, Thornes Park, Wakefield. Tickets are £2 - ALL PROCEEDS GO TO Water Aid!

3. Download The Housekeeping Society, This Way To Power from itunes.

In sure and certain hope

2011-03-11T12:47:00.003Z

I came across this a little while ago and wanted to share it. As i look at it now i can't help but think of the people of Christchurch New Zealand, Queensland, Haiti, The Sudan, Lybia, and Japan and surrounding areas. The song, and the video, with its deathly motifs but radically audacious theme - not to mention its Christly references - speaks boldy and powerfully of the defiance of life in the face of death. In light of these unfolding tragedies, to my mind, this piece of art becomes a tribute and a prayer.

This is the music video for Johnny Cash's 'Ain't No Grave' redux. Each frame has been drawn by a different artist and then the whole thing strung back together to create this mesmerising dance of images in reflection of the song itself, the man Johnny Cash, and his spirituality.

May your Kingdom come, your will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.

I can't embed the video so i've pasted a link Here
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International Women's Day is one thing...

2011-03-08T16:44:00.002Z

...But i've just caught a glance of my 'Last 5 Films' list, i.e. the last 5 films i've watched - only noting first time viewings - (bottom of the right-hand column), and i need to butch that up quick smart!

Women!

2011-03-08T16:22:00.001Z

Let's hold these two short clips side-by-side and see if we can't fathom what a mixed up world we live in.

First is a trailer for the upcoming documentary Miss Representation:

The second is the lovely folk at MGM's James Bond series making a contribution for International Women's Day. This is a little more complex given the way Bond so often cashes in on perceptions of women as sexual object / damsel types - yet the statement, and its methods, are excellent:

Wall to wall coverage.

2011-01-12T11:07:00.003Z

Film, for me, is frequently a spiritual experience. Banksy's Exit Through The Gift Shop, however, is one i HAVE to talk about, so i'll start by talking about The Social Network. This recent film - the Facebook film - from Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher, has had huge notoriety, is Oscar tipped, and has been spoken of by critics as one of THE films of our time. What's important to note here is that these comments are made not because of the exceptional jobs done by the writer and director - their work, usually full of flair and exhilarating showmanship, is very solid but uncharacteristically understated. No, the comments are made for the same reason the film-makers kept a lid on their instincts to perform: because The Social Network is bigger than a film, it's a document of an era - albeit one blended with fiction and speculation. The Social Network very cleverly melds an intimate story about a friendship with a much broader story of massive changes in its social context largely determined by that friendship: the digital and technological revolution; a world where legislation lags behind rapid electronic changes; one where kids are becoming evermore present on rich lists; and one where the film's audience's social lives, and means of relationship, have most likely been significantly impacted by such a simple thing as a Facebook wall page.

Now, to Exit Through The Gift Shop. This is a tiny film and it's not crafted with anywhere near the same expertise and skill as The Social Network. Heck, it's not even made by film-makers, it's made by street artists (if you're feeling gracious) or by drop-outs and vandals (if you're feeling pompous). However, it is just as much a document of our time. It doesn't deal with technology and social interaction though, it deals with the evolution / revolutions in art (or not) and our culture's capitalistic desire to turn everything into a commercial commodity.

As i was watching, everything in me was thrumming, my head, my heart and my spirit - and all the areas of overlap too! It's a documentary film about film, indeed about the making of a documentary film that didn't exist (riddle me that if you can). It's about art, and grief, and beauty, and freedom, and subversion, and power, and power coming from perceived power, and exploitation, and standing up to our 'right to consume', and standing up to the influence of corporations on the way our PUBLIC spaces look and the ways we use them. It is brilliant, it made me yearn for truth and freedom and love in a way that i'm most familiar with as being 'of God'.

A second thing it shares with The Social Network is that it centres around a friendship. The possibility even remains that, for all its strengths, the film itself could be an act of petty vengeance - or even a hoax. Who can tell? If you've ever been party to a conversation about modern art where you or the person you're speaking with have used the cliche "...a bit Emperor's new clothes..." then this is a film you have to see!

Of course, for all the hype of this post, the film is just about vandalism and other criminal activity by people who should really get a job. Funny though.

A flash of insight.

2010-12-17T17:51:00.001Z

Fact about women No.37:
Candles are what women turn to when their partners never get them flowers.

Panic on the streets of London

2010-12-10T11:50:00.003Z

I'm not a Take That fan, but it is difficult not to like them isn't it. And who isn't a little warmed to see and hear Robbie back for good? Anyway, a song for our time, or week, at least?

It's got to make you wonder if the riots in London last night, and all the back and forth about the vote on changes to the funding of universities, is all a clever marketing ploy for Take That's next single. Hats off if it is.

Student protests, or a collection of frustrated people, with multiple agendas, along with those simply looking for a ruck, capitalising on the opportunity afforded by the student protests? Let's also mention here the Nobel prize winning, pro-democracy activist Liu Xiaobo, who is criminalised in his native China. Let's mention too the consideration of calls for those in charge of wikileaks to be treated as terrorists, and the moves to crush it under massive government and corporate pressure. (Incidentally, a petition against the extra-judicial campaign of intimidation wikileaks is facing can be found and signed here)

When governments don't listen to what the people clearly want, and when they act in ways which at least appear to quash central tenants of democratic society; things like freedom of speech and freedom of the press for example, one has to wonder how much their lofty and noble sounding rhetoric concerning democracy actually affects the on-the-ground practises they employ in running a country. Maybe the bands people travel in and the banners they work under never capture accurately the diverse ideologies contained within any given 'movement'.

"Since some nations are more powerful than others, they will at times prevent anarchy by effective imperialism, which in our industrial period has become more covert than overt. But the peace is gained by force and is always an uneasy and unjust one. As powerful classes organise a nation, so powerful nations organise a crude society of nations. In each case the peace is a tentative one because the peace is unjust. It has been achieved only partially by a mutual accommodation of conflicting interests and certainly not by a rational and moral adjustment of rights. It will last only until those, who feel themselves too weak to challenge strength, will become, or will feel themselves, powerful enough to do so." Reinhold Niebuhr.

In short, there'll be trouble when the kidz come out.

Pax Romana (the Peace of Rome) never does what it says on the tin, and i, again, find myself led back to Christ and his call away from a clamour for power, and towards an embracing of humility in the loving of our neighbour as ourselves. Here, in our acknowledgement of ourselves as one with 'the other', is the only way to a true peace.

Also, what were Charles and Camilla thinking!? "Oh, let's go for a drive and check out the riots ourselves!". The commoners are revolting.

...nope, none of the above, it was panic on the streets of London.

10 for 10

2010-12-02T13:35:00.008Z

The end of 2010 is upon us, as is, therefore, the end of the decade. I thought it would be interesting to consider this past 10 years from a cinematic perspective. We've had the digital revolution, 3D cinema, loads of real world events for movies to get political about, and the advent of the 'TV Box-Set' - all of which has had an effect on cinema.

I wish i wasn't so hard on myself. I wish i could allow 10 lists of 10 movies each - maybe 10 movies per genre or something. But, alas, i'm too cruel and hard of heart. The task i have asked of myself is to come up with the best / my favourite 10 pieces of cinema from the past 10 years. Not necessarily a film from each year, but 10 in total. It has brought me joy to think back over films that have thrilled and moved me (maybe even films that have helped shape my thinking), but it's been really painful to leave so many out. Like, i'm talking about a real, deep, stinging pain.

So, bearing in mind our potentially different tastes, and the different things which were happening in our lives when we saw these films; and also bearing in mind that i haven't seen everything that's come out in this time (in fact there are some highly acclaimed pieces which i haven't caught), here's my 10 (in no order whatsoever):

The 'Bourne' trilogy (Doug Liman, 2002 and Paul Greengrass, 2004 + 2007)

(Ok, so i may have taken a liberal approach to conjouring my list, but 10 films from 10 years isn't very many at all, also the rules said "pieces of cinema", NOT 'films'.)

"Do you even know why you're supposed to kill me? Look at us. Look at what they make you give."

Batman Begins / The Dark Knight (Christopher Nolan, 2005 + 2008)

(I haven't cheated with every one, i promise)

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain"

Munich (Steven Spielberg, 2005)

"We are supposed to be righteous. That's a beautiful thing. And we're losing it. If I lose that, that's everything. That's my soul"

Pan's Labyrinth (Guillmero Del Toro, 2006)

"Many, many years ago in a sad, faraway land, there was an enormous mountain made of rough, black stone. At sunset, on top of that mountain, a magic rose blossomed every night that made whoever plucked it immortal. But no one dared go near it because its thorns were full of poison. Men talked amongst themselves about their fear of death, and pain, but never about the promise of eternal life. And every day, the rose wilted, unable to bequeath its gift to anyone... forgotten and lost at the top of that cold, dark mountain, forever alone, until the end of time"

Dead Man's Shoes (Shane Meadows, 2004)

"You, you were supposed to be a monster - now I'm the fucking beast. There's blood on my hands, from what you made me do"

Into The Wild (Sean Penn, 2007)

"Happiness only real when shared."

Brokeback Mountain (Ang Lee, 2005)

"You ever get the feelin'... I don't know, er... when you're in town and someone looks at you all suspicious, like he knows? And then you go out on the pavement and everyone looks like they know too"

Lost In Translation (Sofia Coppola, 2003)

"Let's never come here again because it will never be as much fun"

The Lives Of Others (Florian Henckel van Donnersmarck, 2006)

Bookseller: 29.80. Would you like it gift wrapped?
Gerd Wiesler: No. It's for me.

Anchorman (Adam McKay, 2004) = Shaun Of The Dead (Edgar Wright, 2004)

(Try as i might, i cannot seperate these two.)

"It's 'AnchorMAN', not 'Anchor-Lady'!"

"Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We have to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us"

2004 and 2005 appear to be the biggest hitting years for me, with 7 films between them. If we discount the multi-featurings of actors and directors in franchises, Heath Ledger and Paddy Considine would then seem the biggest hitting stars, cropping up twice (The Dark Knight and Brokeback Mountain, and The Bourne Ultimatum and Dead Man's Shoes respectively).

So, confronted with my list, i observe in these films the running themes of violent retribution and associated guilt, the struggle for freedom in oppressive contexts, and the realising of one's self and one's power (for good or for ill). Most of these stories are stories of men, and even one of the two that are stories of women is about men not dealing very well with women's changing place. The irony is that Anchorman had to be set in the 70's to get it's message across, where, judging by my list, it's still just as relevant an issue now as it was then. Look at the gender of the directors of these films, for example.

This could all be down to me and my choices, and probably partially is, but i look at these themes and issues raised and i have to ask what the balance is of what these films say about me for selecting them, and what they say about this past decade which has produced them.

What about your favourites? What does your mental cinematic landscape of this past decade look like?

Ok, honorary mentions for those most narrowly missing out: Joyeux Noel, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, Let The Right One In, United 93, The Darjeeling Limited, Moon, Primer and Stranger Than Fiction.

Rotten smelling things, or the truth and other fictions .2

2010-11-30T11:48:00.001Z

I am, it may have caught your attention, a MASSIVE football fan. One of my very favourite things in all the world is playing football. I played last night and took a nasty stud to the ankle. Nursing it today and feeling it ache, is a pleasure - such is the twisted extent of my love of the game. I adore Tottenham Hotspur, they're such an incredible club to follow; so regularly being close to success, and so often cocking it up provides the fullest experiences imaginable for a football fan. We regularly get both ends of the drama. At the moment we're riding particularly high, which just means trying to enjoy it while waiting for the crash. What a rush! Internationally, i follow England. I make a point of always following England, catching all the friendlies and all the qualifiers, not just riding the wave that comes around every two years (if we're lucky). Suffice to say, the idea of England hosting the FIFA World Cup(tm) 2018 would, to me, be amazing! The greatest footballing nations in the world competing for the game's greatest prize, on these shores, would be a dream. I don't need to mention that the last time it was here we won it, but i will.

Watching last night's Panorama programme, however, saw me agree with, ahem, David Mellor. This is more surprising to me than it is to you, i can assure you. Not only is he a peculiar looking Conservative Party member who is partial to extra-marital ventures, particularly ones involving toes, but he's a Chelski fan too.

Anyway, his point was that as the inventors of the beautiful game we should press FIFA hard to clear up corruption in its ranks, rather than bow and scrape to them for the right to host their competition.

You see, the programme asked questions about money which appears to show FIFA executive committee members having taken bribes from its marketing company in exchange for votes which would secure lucrative World Cup contracts with sponsors. Not only this, but it showed how nations bidding to host the event subject themselves to every desire FIFA has. In some cases new laws must be passed to allow The World Cup to go ahead in the manner to which FIFA is accustomed. This, according to representatives of the Dutch bid, includes the suspension of workers rights and 'protection' for sponsors - inclusive of complete tax breaks on their behalf. These sponsors aren't minnows by the way, these sponsors are companies like Coca-Cola, Mars and McDonald's (i wonder if Panorama should do a show investigating just what any of these companies think their products have to do with the world of professional sports).

When challenged about this the former sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe MP, said it was reasonable "because the benefits of hosting the World Cup outweigh the disbenefits". Clearly 'The George W. Bush School For Elocution' is finally off the ground, and Mr. Sutcliffe is just one example of the many people whose use of language has been disunconfused.

So what of FIFA? Surely the responsible thing to do is face up to charges and clear out corruption rather than do nothing but look offended. That wreaks of a body who knows it's dirty to the core. To not even be able to make a pretence of interest in routing out corruption, in favour of insisting - despite the evidence - on innocence, is a mark of deep guilt. It reminds me of a bunch of young people who've been seen doing things wrong who, when challenged, insist "I never!".
- But there, see? Look, that's you on the video tape.
- But i never!
- But, that's you, we're both watching you do it right now.
- But i never!
All that's left is the protestation of innocence.

And what of our bid? Well, now, despicably, two days from the FIFA vote which will decide who hosts the World Cup in 2018, Cameron, Beckham, and others responsible for landing the bid are busy schmoozing with FIFA and condemning the BBC for running the programme for fear it will have damaged England's chances. I'm with Mellor(!?), let's please not worship FIFA so they might in turn grace us a with a dirty (yet massively profitable) rag of a competition. I for one don't want it. Can't we rather impress on them a refusal to acknowledge their power until they restore fairness and integrity to the game we love?

Oh, and FIFA, sort out goal-line technology! I'd love to know where the money that's blocking that one is coming form.

Rotten smelling things, or the truth and other fictions .1

2010-11-30T10:11:00.004Z

The leaked American files story is an incredible piece of history unfolding before our eyes. It's a marker of the power of the internet and the way the internet has affected information sharing. This isn't just a misplaced disc with names etc of civil servants, this has massive global significance - not least because America is considering declaring a 'War On Journalism'. The first move of which, no doubt, will be to carpet bomb Iran. This is a leak which will be felt around the world, and any number of world leaders and diplomats may react in any number of ways.

America has come out strong saying that the leak is criminal and those responsible will be hunted down and punished - punished like no-one has ever been punished before, since this is a line YOU DO NOT CROSS! This response is clearly a reaction fuelled by embarrassment and a desire to look strong. Anger is the obvious way to go.

Meanwhile the rest of the media seems caught up in what will most likely turn out to be a key marker in the discussion over the freedom of the press V national security. Of course, the press being the press, this is happening while they simultaneously get to revel in the sensationalism of snippets of the leaked information.

Some of this stuff seems noteworthy, and some might even be damaging, but most of it appears to just embarrass individual politicians around the world. Not by virtue of it having exposed scandals in private lives or corruption in their political practises, but by taking clumsy comments they've made in what they assumed were safe places, writing them down and reading massive value judgements on the individuals into these notes.

The question i have is what sort of a document was it that was leaked and who thought it would be worthwhile document to authorise and keep? It's all such petty nonsense. It's like a scene in a primary school classroom where someones diary's been found and read out-loud. "I like Jason, but his trainers are cheap and he can be mean to Ashley. I don't like that because i like Ashley, even though she's a bit smelly sometimes. Kyra's really cool but she won't talk to me because she's up herself. And she's all buddy-buddy with Jordan who i really fancy. If he wants to kiss Kyra though, he can for all i care cos he's fit but he is stupid too...". The diary gets thrown round the room, different people reading out different bits, America, getting more and more cross, starts shouting death threats through its tears. Everyone waiting to see what's said about them then getting upset and hurt, but not as upset as those who don't get any sort of mention at all - for there, there is true pain.

So Prince Andrew is cocky (he's a prince!) and led a conversation which verged on the rude (he's a human!). So some German politicians want to reap political gain (their politicians!), and so Prince Phillip can be rude about the French (he's a racist!). It's as shocking as saying something like, i don't know, like... David Cameron and George Osborne lack depth. We know, we've seen them talk and have assessed them ourselves. Surely these aren't the sort of judgements you need to write down!? Surely this isn't the sort of information you keep and pass amongst yourselves in files marked 'Confidential' while saying things like "Our geese often stare at the moon" and replying "That's what the Spring time is for"!?

All the comments are so subjective it's ridiculous. And it's a great, great shame for two reasons. First, it will have a bearing on international politics. Secondly, because it has undoubtedly confirmed our most quietly held fears: the people running the planet, and their means of doing so, are exactly the same as the figures and politics which govern a school class' social scene. Shudder, weep and pray, for this is the world you live in.

American marketeering

2010-11-26T16:23:00.005Z

American television broadcasting is terrible. A twenty-five minute show will have three (THREE!!) ad breaks, where in the UK it would have one. More on American programming later, perhaps. For now though i want to highlight the incongruousness in much of the advertising that takes place. Look at these two commercials and compare and contrast:

What an outrageous list of side-effects! Are you supposed to get some sleep between bouts of plotting ways to off yourself? And this is supposed to entice me into buying the product? The company is obviously adhering to American law about having to feature side-effects in drug adverts. But, compare it to this bare faced cheek:

No negatives in this product whatsoever then! Notice how it's the milkman-conscience in white who's talking her into it as well, rather than the one in red as would be expected. This milk really is the hero! It reminds me of our own nutella advert where as the line "...and with two whole hazelnuts in each jar..." is spoken, a jar is shown being opened and hundreds of the buggers pour forth.

American adverts seemed to fall into one of three categories. About 33% of them were for cars / insurance policies / cleaning products / clothing / perfume etc, 33% were for some convenience food or fast-food chain, and the other 33% were for the latest bit of fitness equipment or regime. By far my favourite of this latter category was this, for unspeakably obvious reasons:

Overall though, this next one was the one that rode fastest and loosest with it's benefits, and it summed up perfectly the juxtaposition of the ratio i just mentioned.

(This was the only form i could find the advert in, sorry. If you whizz it forward to 58 seconds, it's right there)

That's right. Watch it again if you don't believe it, your eyes do not deceive you.

Add this all together and you've got yourself your own little American Psyche.

I (heart) NY

2010-11-25T11:13:00.016Z

When i was 11 i went on a fortnight's family holiday / road trip around parts of North Eastern USA - Niagara, Pennsylvania, Baltimore, D.C, Blue Ridge Mountains - it was amazing and i had an absolutely incredible time. To get home we had to change flights in JFK. Sitting in, and wandering round, the terminal building was as close as i came to NYC at that point, and even after such an spectacular and exhausting trip, i remember feeling jipped and frustrated that i couldn't get out and see it.

I don't know what my frame of reference for the city would have consisted of at that point; definitely the Statue of Liberty and Empire State Building, definitely yellow cabs, definitely Bill Murray (either being cool, lying to girls and relentlessly hitting on them while getting more and more cross about spectral slime and the destruction of existence hampering his having a good time, or offering trouble-shooting suggestions about the attachment of tiny antlers to mouse's heads by means of staples).

I'll have known about the Yankees, the Giants and the Jets (not the gang who kick-ball-change and pada beret enemies to death, but the men who play 'football' by running into each other hard while throwing and catching the ball with their hands). Most exciting to me though, were the Guardian Angels; the vigilante gang wearing red berets and killing muggers on the subway. I'd have loved to see that. They were even cooler than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Crocodile Dundee and LL Cool J put together.

Anyway, i never saw any of it. So, 20 years pass and i dream of New York. Then my time comes and i get to go 3 times in 3 months. The first time i mentioned in the previous post; a day and night stop over en route to Haiti, where i have to go around the city with my eyes shut so i don't see anything before my trip proper with Kelly. I did take sneak peeks at Wall Street, the Statue of Liberty, bits of Brooklyn (inc. Bridge) and the Ninja Restaurant though.

The third time was at the end of my trip with Kelly; a bus ride into midtown Manhattan, and a rush-hour taxi ride out to JFK through Queens and Brooklyn - a fantastic way to leave!

The Second time was the biggie. We were in the city for a week staying with my brother, Gethin, in his apartment in Brooklyn. I absolutely loved the time i spent there, and the city itself; the life and vibrancy of the place is incredible. But then, i get-off on 'the urban', i always have. Cities have always stirred and excited me. I don't know what it is, i think it's in the mix of life and proximity of the people, the density of culture(s) and the engineering and architecture in the buildings and mass transport systems. I love that there was initially a design for a way of living, or a natural reason to congregate and then that's grown and been enhanced organically. I make no apology for using that word - there is nature in our cities, and our cities are key indicators to our human nature. What ever it is, New York has it and i loved it!

The way cities speak of who we are is fascinating, though, of course, they don't always say good things. Take Times Square for instance, apparently the most photographed place in the world, a place where all the tourists have to go. For these reasons i both went, and took photographs, and it is spectacular! But what is it? It's a crossing place of a couple of roads where every inch has been commissioned to advertise.

All the space has been sold so it might in turn sell. Incredible technology and energy is employed to present ideals devised by brands to persuade us of the greater meaning afforded to our lives and great leaps in status we'll take should we 'participate' in the worlds of their products. I'm not kidding, there's M&M World (it's a shop) and Toys R Us World (it's not a world, it's a shop) and even Pop Tart World is under construction (it's not a world, it's a shop - an unfinished shop). Brand names emblazoned everywhere and images of beautiful people, naked apart from whatever item they've been employed to glamorise.

It's like the Mecca of commercialism; "Put on your Nikes, for this is holy ground. Stand and worship the illuminated brand names. Celebrate what Disney, McDonalds, Diesel, Prada and Yahoo, in their infinite grace, have done for you!"

Yep, cities tell us about ourselves. This bit of New York is an altar to what we celebrate: Joining with successful brands as a signifier of our personal success. "Our name is up in lights, if you believe in us you can bathe in our glow; our story is your story when you're made in our image - so make yourself in our image".

Of course, other bits of the city tell other stories about our nature, but it was here that i was most disturbed. To see so many people cooing over electrified billboards, all the while conscious of the side of me that was salivating for the hope proffered by these brands, and swelling with pride brought on by seeing the glowing logos of companies i affiliate myself with was...uncomfortable.

The picture below was one i didn't really want taking because of how i was feeling, however, i'm thrilled with the way it came out (quite accidentally) because it captures exactly the disorientation i was feeling. If a picture of my spirit could have been taken instead, it would have looked just like this. Note also that i myself am branded - a walking advert.

There were loads and loads of other spiritual experiences i had in the city: playing football in central park with my brother, the museum of natural history, riding the subway, visiting Coney Island, the privilege of enjoying incredible food - and then the grace of having the very best meal paid for as a gift, surveying the land from the top of the Rockerfeller, getting caught in the fatest rain, just sitting in the foyer of the Guggenhiem museum - but Times Square was the most challenging. It asked: Who is your God? Where is your hope? How strong is the tide of culturally-approved-selfish-ambition against loving your neighbour as yourself? How do you make your voice heard over the din of injustices in production of goods that make you feel self satisfied? Where does this celebration of brand power leave the poor and marginalised?

God was there and i can't wait to go back.

The intro to Woody Allen's Manhattan covers most bases of perspectives on New York wonderfully.

Old News

2010-11-24T10:58:00.006Z

Not been on here for a little while. It would seem that the Haiti trip and the all-sorts-of-stuff since has proven too much to begin formulating into blog posts.

So, there was Haiti (please look at the house of hope blog for on the ground news from friends about the issues facing this country), and then there was the end of my term (and employment) as student minister at Wakefield Baptist Church, then there was some job centre action, then a distinct possibility of a post in a church in central London came to nothing, then there was a month's 'holiday of a lifetime' (3 weeks in North Eastern USA, one week in Gran Canaria), then there's been bits and pieces of freelance work for the LEA devising and delivering sex and relationship lesson material for boys in secondary school - alongside a continued search for regular work.

Suffice to say, the burbling flesh that used to be my brain has lost all means of letting me know what's going on and how i should feel about it.

Did you know that in the job centre the touch screen machines you use to look for work have four options their top menu? These four options are 'general search', 'my account', 'detailed search' and 'jobs in the armed forces'. Unbelievable cheek! This is just one example of the many, many things which i could have blogged about but for it being too mashed in with everything else to reason it out and apply words to.

.

So, anyway, sorry about being away. I'm sure bits of all this stuff will find some way out over the next few months.

How was Haiti?

2010-10-01T15:35:00.005+01:00

"Er. Um... well, er. What do you mean?"

If you've been on the receiving end of this response to the question, or one similar, i can only apologise. I have found myself very stuttery and ill-equipped in the face of such interrogation. Indeed the reason for what is now nearly a two month delay in posting anything about it is that i've had (and continue to have) no idea how to construct a post that does it justice.

I've developed a number of ways of responding to people who've wanted to know about the trip based on how much time we have, how much they seem to actually care, and the nature of my relationship with them. You see, i was there for nearly four full weeks from early July to early August, and i can recall reasonably clearly most waking moments - except my more fevered waking moments. Stuff doesn't just pass you by in Haiti; it didn't become a blur of normality - for a 'blanc' like me life in Haiti is in too stark a contrast to 'normal' for it not to make an impact every waking moment. Nothing can be taken for granted, not even poo. (I had diarrhea for a fortnight - a new personal best. I spent a reasonable amount of time counting toilet paper sheets and fantasising about firm poo. I spent nearly 31 years without unpleasantries simultaneously spilling out of both ends, in Haiti i could only manage 5 days. It's a tough country).

I'm no better able to tell the story here than i can if you speak to me, when i think of Haiti my head swirls. Mostly with good things. Here are some recollections and reflections i'll pluck for you though:

The trip took in New York City, Port-au-Prince, and part of the North of the country around Port-du-Paix. These are 3 distinct places which, when held together in one's mind, show how small our world indeed is, as well as how great a disparity is contained within. NYC is one of the world's most powerful cities; when disaster strikes it fractures time. We now live in a 'Post 9-11 world', and we have very good ideas about all that that means. When disaster strikes Port-au-Prince, capital city of a country already on its knees, the fractured land can do little to rally its near impotent infrastructure. The North of the country is also a disaster zone, only, so silent and slow-burn was the tragedy that there doesn't seem to be a particular moment where it struck. And with that comes even less ability to grab itself by the lapels - let alone the rest of the world.

Over the mountain are more mountains - Haitian proverb. This refers to what Creole speakers call "Pwoblem". You might deal with one problem, but all we have is a huge collection of others. Haiti is an incredibly mountainous country, everywhere is uphill and you never feel like you're on top. It seems like that leads to a 'Well, that's my lot' mentality in the people who live there. This can be terribly disheartening and debilitating, but on the other hand it makes way for such beauty. On the sand-striped, filth and debris-laden beaches the very poorest children run, sing, skip, play and chase with exactly the same kind of abandon as any other children. The satisfaction with having work or with a completed a project is huge, as is the appreciation for the simplest things. The hospitality and reliance on community is humbling, so too the resilience of spirit and lack of expectations of 'what one deserves'.

This is a shot of what is now one of my favourite places in the world: an out-of-nowhere football pitch at the top of a mountain

Here is the majesty of the land, the joy and improvisation of the people, and the wonder of football.

I miss my friends in Haiti, but i can at least follow the work of 'Maison Despoir' (House of Hope), a Christian orphanage community who raise children without parents, or children whose parents can no longer afford them, or children whose parents are no longer interested in keeping or supporting them, on the House of Hope blog. You may be interested in doing so too, and i might well be back with more on this soon, since there's so much to say about how the Haiti trip was.

Burning hatred

2010-09-10T09:42:00.016+01:00

There is a slang expression, which is an extention of the more traditional 'really boils my blood', that makes reference to another bodily fluid being boiled. It's not pleasant, but then it's not meant to be; it's intended to accurately communicate the bitterness, pain and foulness of feeling that comes with being livid about something.

Pastor Terry Jones and his moronic desire to hold a Qur'an burning really boils my p- p- blood!!

I think i'm angry because i can't find any sense anywhere in the whole situation, which means the whole thing is a ridiculous giant spiral of negativity.

Firstly, Mr Jones - apologies, i can't revere you - what happened to "love your neighbour as yourself"? Nevermind the fact that the ensueing 'who is my neighbour?' question was answered in the form of a story wherein a character of a radically different faith perspective to the audience is shockingly hailed not only as neighbour, but as hero. Have you forgotten that this story was told by du-du-duurrrrr Jesus, the man you claim to follow?

What happened to the GOLDEN RULE ie. do unto others as you would have them do to you? Or is it that you would like Muslims to burn Bibles - because to me that doesn't seem like a good way of getting people to consider the life of Christ. It looks more like a good way of getting people to refuse to hear anything about him.

Also, this stuff about "They said they were going to move the ground zero mosque, and now they say they won't - they're liars!" I'm afraid i don't believe you. I wonder if you plan to start your pathetic bonfire off your flamming pants! I can't imagine that your distasteful stunt would for a single moment carry enough clout to persuade muslim leaders to revise all the planning that's gone into the Islamic centre in New York (it's NOT a mosque, and it's NOT at ground zero - see my previous post). Incidentally, i can't think of anything more appropriate to have at ground zero than a point of interfaith engagement.

Secondly, hey, media people, you thick or what!? You can't pretend to be concerned about 'the serious security threat to the U.S, Europe and soldiers in Afghanistan' when, if it weren't for you shouting about this thing, it would've been one of the world's great non-events. Why have you given this idiot such a huge platform for his lunacy - particularly when you're convinced it's as dangerous as you're making out? Oh, silly me, your sales are more important than the security and righteousness you're claiming to defend.

Pardon me Forrest, Stupid is as stupid does? Well so is 'Christian'. And Muslim. Why are we still referring to 'Pastor' Terry as a Christian? Surely his actions so far have refuted enough of Jesus' central teachings that we can no longer call him - or allow him to call himself - 'Christian'. The same goes for the twisted minds who have violently attacked public spaces and transportation systems around the world in the name of Islam. These people are not Muslims, and they're certainly not extremist Muslims any more than Terry Jones is an extremist Christian. Both parties have infact extremely distorted the faiths they claim to represent, this is very, very different from following their faiths to the extreme.

The Stereophonics' song aptly says "It only takes 1 tree to make 1000 matches, it only takes 1 match to burn 1000 trees". I think this is another part of my frustration; this whole thing shows how easily a tiny minority can taint and destroy the good works and good name of a majority. Is destruction really that much more straight-forward than creativity?

I might launch 'National Read A Holy Book From A Different Faith Than Your Own Day'. I might do it to coincide with 'burn a Koran day' - see if more books get read or burnt. Who's with me!

In fact i just did it! Check out this facebook group.

Ground Zero Tolerance

2010-08-26T11:24:00.002+01:00

Charlie Brooker, i love you.

Faceman and the Cylon

2010-08-18T15:22:00.004+01:00

In the opening credits of The A-Team tv show there's a moment where Face does a 'don't-i-know-you-from-somewhere' gesture to a passing Cylon. Hahaha. This is of course - i can barely type for laughing - because Dirk Benedict, the actor playing Face, got the role off the back of starring in Battlestar Galactica... home to the Cylons. Clever. Incidentally, i firmly believe that it was the very first broadcast of that moment which fractured Modernity and birthed the Postmodern era right before our very eyes, regardless of what anyone else might tell you.

Anyway, remember this post? Well it seems that i may have overlooked a couple of points which would have furthered my case. Check it:

Remember Tron from 1982? This year we get Tron Legacy

Remember Wall Street from 1987? Check out Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Remember Pirhana II from 1981? Grab your magic specs for Pirhana 3D

Remember Red Dawn from 1984? Shame on you! Can't get a trailer for it yet, but yes, they are actually re-doing this. Due this Winter. For those that don't remember, here's the trailer for the original so you can see just how low we're scraping now.

That's right, a bunch of high school kids, led by Patrick Swayze, see off invading Russian forces. Anyone else laugh outloud at the irony of presenting McDonalds as a benign presence in a 'free' America?

So, cinema-goers could for sometime be wandering around with Templeton Peck's 'don't-i-know-you-from-somewhere' expression all over our otherwise bewildered faces. I'm a little concerned about what happens in 20 years time though, when Hollywood is having to draw on this decade for it's ideas. You can't use a tea bag more than twice, surely.

Reception by Inception's reception

2010-08-18T14:55:00.008+01:00

Been back from Haiti for a week and a bit now, the Summer is always a bit odd with people away and stuff, which means nothing is quite 'as normal' anyway. Coming back from the time in Haiti to a slightly affected rhythm of life means i'm still working through all that happened and still waiting to speak to certain people about it to help me formulate an even response to the question 'how was Haiti?'. When i figure that out i'll get back to you on it. For now though, it was good.

In the midst of this Summer madness i turn to the only place i know for help with re-orientation: the Summer blockbuster! Specifically, Inception, which i'd been looking forward to for a long while. Having missed its release and the surrounding furore, and having heard close friends and trusted film lovers come out both hailing it and hating it, i felt in a suitable position to judge the truth of the matter. And the truth of the matter is this: It's better than Vanilla Sky.

This post from Glen Marshall and the subsequent comments frame the key points of the discussion well. My view is this -

Tension comes from consequences that matter. You can't make suggestions that it's all a dream and then also expect people to buy into multiple layers of hand-wringing drama, for which, incidentally, things have to keep being invented to make the events of worth - "Ah, well, you see, at this depth of dreaming, and under this particular sedative, if you die you won't wake, you go to (duh-duh-daahhhh) limbo".

Limbo: the most feared outcome imaginable, is voluntarily skipped into and then waltzed out of, after a bit of a look around.

Couldn't buy into the stuff with Leo and his wife, i'm afraid. I instead found Cillian Murphy's character the most sympathetic, which is a shame because he was the one we're supposed to want to be conned.

Like Glen says, good themes: looking at sub-consciousness; the play-off between memory, imagination and creativity; the idea that any worldview you could possibly take is always a "leap of faith"; hints at dementia and the loss of reality within relationships with loved ones. Shame though that we're whisked past these ideas with no time or stimulation for reflection - the next breathtaking sequence is calling.

The sequences were absolutely breathtaking, it's just that they were held together by too thin a thread to bear the cumulative weight of objectives.

The film made me think of too many truly great films that this one can't stand up to. It made me think i would rather be watching The Matrix, Blade Runner, Citizen Kane, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Brazil or the Bournes.

Ellen Page was too painfully serving as 'Basil Exposition'.

Entertained? Yeah, sure. Would i watch it again? Aha. I just have difficulty with how seriously it takes itself and how clever it thinks it is. If you can buy into nonsense though, it works fine.

It is a dream, by the way. Forget the final shot, and forget anything you may have heard about the wedding ring. Think instead about the chronology of the repetition of the 'leap of faith' line. Think about Leo always being chased by faceless agents of some corporation. Think about Leo getting stuck between the two buildings. Think about who handles Leo's totem. Think about how closely Leo's reunion with his children resembles his dreams of them. Think about the slowed down 'je ne regrette rien' serving as the score.

Plus, how old is Tom Berenger!? These past 10 years have really kicked his arse!

Can't stop, got to fly...

2010-07-14T00:50:00.003+01:00

Not posted anything in a little while, not for lack of activity i can assure you. In fact the main reason i haven't posted has been due to over-activity: World Cup, Glastonbury, assignments, meeting churches... and preparing for a 3 1/2 week trip to Haiti with charity Hands of Hope. No real time to comment on any of that stuff right now, proper comment will follow (in about 3 1/2 weeks).

This post is a plea to those of you who pray, or indeed to those of you who simply wish others well. Here's a prayer guide that team members have been given, which i share with you by means of invitation. The two teams spoken of are two teams of 4, one of which leaves Wakefield in about 10 minutes (1am 14-07-10) with me in it, and the other leaves in about a weeks time.

I'll be back soon and let you know all about it.

- The first team who leave UK on 14th July. The second team who leave UK on 25th July.
- Safe flights and connections all the way up to Port de Paix de Paix in northern Haiti especially in the little 16 seater plane!
- That any impending BA strike or volcanoes will not affect the schedules, outbound or return.
- The work that the two teams will be engaged with – placing a concrete roof on a 2 storey building. Liaising with the partners and making future plans.
- Safety on the building site with no injuries, safe travel on the roads, good health for all.
- Safe transport and passage of the medical supplies and funds for the partners with no problems at customs.
- Great team spirit, where the team quickly gels together and works as one.
Continued good and strengthening relationships with our partners - Bethanie Baptist Church, House of Hope Children’s Hospital, Beracca Vocational School.
- Real understanding of the needs of the partners and communities in which they are located, especially in the aftermath of the earthquake.
- Good communication with the partners. Real insight into what Hands of Hope need to do alongside the partners in the future.
- Openness to the moving of God’s Spirit in what ever unexpected direction He might take us in.
- Family and work and responsibilities left behind.
- That we all have a great time and be good for each other.
- We will be ready to hear and see what God has to show/teach us
- We will use what we learn when we return home
- Good safe trip back (23rd July, 7th August) with lots of amazing memories.
- For the Spirit of the living God to fall upon the people and country of Haiti.

Pathetically weeps at the thought of devising a post title

2010-06-16T16:01:00.008+01:00

I have a terribly publicly known secret: from time to time when i preach, i also cry. A little. Well, sometimes i cry, sometimes i just get a bit choked.

My experience of this is very mixed. On the one hand it's obviously rubbish. It is embarrassing, and i do feel stupid. Also going round my head is how irritating it must be for some people, in the same way oscar-winning speech whiners wind everyone up. People must be thinking "get over yourself, get to the point, or put the mic down and get away from the front". Others will be thinking "Wow, you really remind me of Sylvester Stallone... having his arse kicked by Estelle Getty in 'Stop, or my mom will shoot'". Yet others will suspect a cynical rouse whereby i'm attempting to employ some sort of emotional blackmail in a bid to manipulate the congregation.

All these things are regrettable and make me wish i didn't carry this affliction. The real kicker with it for me though, is how frustrating it is to be rendered silent while preaching. While i look to communicate a fragile point, for which i need my very best words to be most carefully aligned, i'm suddenly robbed of them all, only for them to have been replaced with silent sobs or a pain in my throat and a stinging in my eyes. Or, occasionally, by a little bit of snot.

However, on the other hand, i like it - to a degree. It comes from a place of genuine heart where i'm deeply feeling the weight of what i'm saying, to a level where that weight is clearly much, much bigger than i am. I like that because it has the sense 'of God' about it, and that encourages me. It's also rooted in three other things that i can identify:
- One is that perhaps i'm feeling the grief of what i'm describing.
- Another thing is anxiety because i feel that what i'm saying is important, it's something i've been entrusted with, and i'm hoping to God that i don't botch it. Or rather, the anxiety comes because the words i'm using can't fully contain what it is that i'm trying to express.
- The other thing it's rooted in is my own vulnerability. Often, if i'm saying something which is outside my sense of where most people are in their thought (or would admit to being), but which i'm convinced about and have struggled with, i feel terribly exposed and at huge risk of expulsion (or something like it), and the difficulty of the journey i've been on to get to that point all comes out.

This Sunday past was one of those Sundays. As well as looking to give account of myself here, there was a further thought that struck me. As well as some people finding the whole thing irritating, there are those who find it endearing, and others for whom it's a mark of authenticity in what i'm saying - or at least in my experience of what i'm saying.

It came back to me that one person who was there had reported to a third party that "it was good. I wasn't paying attention until he got upset, and that drew me in". So here's the thought:
We have this huge tendency to separate 'head' and 'heart' / emotion and reason / thinking and feeling. We're aware of this, and our post-enlightenment, post-modern world seeks to address it, but do we do it enough? If there is 'Spirit', it is surely a full-bodied combination, and potent exacerbation, of both parts. Do we still pay too much regard to reason at the expense of emotion? Do we do this more in preaching than in other realms? Do we require reason to lead us to emotion, or do we just pretend we do? What's the appropriate balance for preachers; for them to have thoroughly thought something through, or for them having been deeply affected by it?

England's lament.

2010-06-03T09:14:00.008+01:00

Advisory: Explicit Content.

It's World Cup time so the world and her partner is trying to cash-in by attempting to write the next 'Football's coming home'. Sadly, so are Baddiel, Skinner and The Lightening seeds - literally the next 'football's coming home'. Their effort is an ever-so-slightly tweaked version of the song they've re-released every tournament since 1996. So no doubt everyone else's efforts to top the charts and get the terraces chanting their tune will be in vain.

Out of this milieu of 'musical'-England-supporting-football-based-desperation rises one song. It won't be a hit, no-one will sing it and i can't even find it anywhere to buy. In fact i'm not even really sure who's done it or what it's called.That in itself is refreshing enough, no self-publicity, just a song.

What i really like about it is the way it contains bits of everything associated with English football fans. There is a strong sense of wit and self-deprecation, combined with hope and passion. But there is also thuggery and xenophobia / racism - which i'm not entirely sure is celebrated or lampooned. I think the video slightly errs towards celebrating it, but the song on its own is self-aware and ironic.

What underpins all this though, and gives the song its worth, is a surprising sense of lament that comes from the guitar, and the sense of almost mourning found in usually aggressive and upbeat chants. Yes, it probably is about lamenting England's footballing performances; the way we always have to hark back to '66; the way we always seem to be undone by injury or petulance on the part of key players; the way we already know we'll go out because we can't score penalties. But i also read it as lament for the things already referred to here; the thuggery, the racism, the violence, the excesses. Or maybe i just desperately hope that that's what's going on. Either way, i find myself strangely moved by it.

Health warning: Language is strong, the chorus revolves around the 'Let's go something mental' chant.

A Mars a day helps your pride go away

2010-06-01T12:06:00.005+01:00

Mars and John Barnes (via New Order) collaborate on the all-time greatest exercise in exchanging shame for cash.

Formed.

2010-05-28T11:40:00.004+01:00

This Summer marks the end of four years of 'ministeral formation' for me. I still have some of the degree to finish, but the 'vicar school' bit is done. I remember very clearly, on the drive home after being accepted on to the course, catching chorus lyrics in a song i'd not clocked previously on an album i was listening to a lot at that point. The album was Hard-Fi's Stars of CCTV, and the track: Unnecessary Trouble.

"There's just no need to cause unnecessary trouble, just make sure you cause trouble where it's necessary."

(I post this for the song, NOT the quality of the video)

This spoke to me of principles (of the moral variety, not the mortar board kind), faithfulness and boldness, and i found that helpful in my approach to training, particularly while working out if there was a distinction between 'a call' and 'my call'.

So training / formation begins and one of, if not the, first classes features discussion on David Nash's wooden boulder which made it's way to the sea over the course of several years. David revisted the area to try and find and photogragh where the boulder had got up to every few years. Each time the boulder had changed and moved on in its journey. This served as an illustration for our journeys, our changing thought, our influences and our spirituality.

From there many words have been written and wrestled with, and many concepts have been described, applied and grappled with - well, four years worth to be exact.

In March this year Kelly switched jobs, moving from the Arts Council to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park. YSP is about to launch its new exhibition and as such it's a busy time; opening event, installation, briefing from the artist, and tonight there's a staff party with the artist (which i somehow get to be at).

This new exhibition is by David Nash, otherwise known as 'the boulder dude'. I thought it a fascinating coincidence that one of the very earliest parts of my training, as part of the foundation module, was about reflecting on the journey, and re-visitation, of the wandering boulder, and then at the end of the four years i get to meet the artist responsible. It frames the whole experience perfectly, and obviously gives cause to reflect on the course i've plotted myself inbetween times. When thinking about this moving wooden boulder another lyric came to mind which took me a little bit of effort to place. "This rock has got to roll", i eventually realised, is from the Fun Lovin Criminals track 'Couldn't Get It Right' on the Mimosa album.

The song is obviously about moving on, and it also speaks of having waited for a sign that never came. I find that that seems to have a resonnance with the position i currently find myself in, though i'm still waiting. A bit.

So, where to from here my little boulder friend? Let's see...

A sign of the times

2010-05-20T11:52:00.012+01:00

Ash cloud in the sky
Oil in the oceans
Riots in the streets
Cameron / Clegg devotion

Strikes in the air
Arms in Korea
3 Lions in the chart
Deep budgetary fear

Islam V facebook
Job deprivation
Middle East conflict
Told in Revelation?

by Andy Amoss aged 30 and 5/6s

Does my narcissi-silly look big in this?

2010-05-19T11:28:00.005+01:00

So sick was i of youtube videos not fitting fully on to the page of the former layout of my blog that i had to change it.

I loved how it used to look; i loved the colours, i loved the font and i loved the format, but sadly it was not flexible enough, so away with it! I shall miss it all, and it will take me some time to get used to this new set-up. But i want to assure you that this is the same narcissi-silly as before; the same lowbrow, inane, overly critical and cynical, self-loving stream of [fill the blank] that you have become accustomed to, just differently colour-schemed and bordered is all. Hope you like it.

Jesus wants our churches to be really, really good-looking.

2010-05-13T15:34:00.009+01:00

Waiting for election things to settle a bit before blogging on that... that... circus.

In the meantime, here's a parody of the type of church lots of Christians hope for as we move more fully into the 21st Century. I think these fantasies are very ripe for it, and these dreams should be lampooned in order to expose and save us from them.

Enjoy.

(Er, when i say 'enjoy', what i mean is 'try not to vomit all over your keyboard')

"Sunday's Coming" Movie Trailer from North Point Media on Vimeo.

In support of Tottenham Hotspur

2010-05-06T09:08:00.009+01:00

Being a Spurs fan is no mean feat. It can be torturous at times. We've played around in the realms of mediocrity for way too long and it's been a very frustrating place to be. We've won big games but then underperformed against teams we really should have beaten - and i'm not just talking about this season, i'm talking about for almost as long as i can remember. This has been the Tottenham way; the way of mediocrity, inconsistency and frustration - never quite being able to finish things off.

We have lived and supported in the shadow of a legendary Spurs team who were the first among our contemporaries to achieve great, great things, but this has only served to highlight how long ago the early sixties were. Since then we've had to be satisfied with a domestic cup every 10 years. And in recent times we've had to be satisfied with the league cup every 10 years. There have certainly been some fantastic results along the way and some great highs - lets mention beating Ars**al 5-1 as an example - but these have been exceptions rather then the rule.

What i saw happen last night, off the back of this whole season, was the greatest Spurs achievement of a generation. Not only did we finally prove we do have what it takes to 'cross the line', we crossed said line right into the most celebrated club competition in the world, and the foundation such a thing gives us to build on far outweighs any FA cup victory. This is about the whole of our club's development.

For all the pain, the disappointment, the sheer 'mid-tableness' of it all, it has been worth it for the way i feel right now, and for the opportunity that lies ahead of us.

Yes, there's still the 1st qualifying round of the Champion's League to get through, and let's not pretend that there's zero potential for us to be beaten by Burnley on Saturday. I should also acknowledge that Manchester Utd fans et al may well want to mock how excited Spurs fans are about what is essentially their bread and butter, but that makes it no less a fantastic level of success to have honestly attained, and that's to be celebrated by all.

Spurs fans, we've put up with a lot, but the light is shining now.

What a night, what a squad, what a season, what a ride! And it's the thrill of that ride that makes being a Spurs fan such a deeply authentic, visceral and unique thing.

Come On You Spurs!

**wipes tears**

Dear Tottenham Hotspur...

2010-05-05T10:52:00.003+01:00

Um, about tonight...

Who will win?

2010-05-04T15:44:00.008+01:00

So we face this crucial point in our history; everyone's talking about who'll win - or maybe it'll be a draw, and the outcome will have to be decided after the event. The die hards are already wearing their colours, while the neutrals and the bookies are having to make gentle and speculative manoeuvres as they work out who to get behind. It'll be a full house with all the seats taken, one way or another. There are no longer any 'safe-hands' in this contest, everyone is just as vulnerable as anyone else now, and all the while the tension is becoming too much for some, and others are simply unable to cope with the wait any longer.

However, the more i try and prepare myself for the moments that will decide all our fates, the more people seem to be saying to me 'Andy, quit wittering on about Spurs v City and the Champion's League place, don't you know there's a general election on this week!'

Miss the 80's much?

2010-05-04T14:47:00.007+01:00

If you're suffering any seperation anxiety regards the 1980s, Hollywood is swinging to your rescue this Summer.

The A-Team

The Karate Kid (see any Will Smith in his boy?)

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Apologies for the way the whole image won't appear here. It looks like the whole of youtube has done away with its smallest screen sizing and what's left won't fit here. Any comments on how to rectify this would be most welcome.

cameron's trousers turn to brown.

2010-04-30T11:30:00.002+01:00

I agree with Nick.

2010-04-28T10:14:00.011+01:00

A selection of thoughts and influences i've collected over the course of this general election run-in so far.

- If we end up with a hung parliament, which MP should we start with?

- Take care of the credence you give to what you read, watch and listen to. Rupert Murdoch controls 40% of British media and will not be looking to entertain notions of impartiality. He is a fervent conservative party supporter due to the assistance their policies will give him as a man in big business.

- Check this link, play with the toy and tell me we're not in need of electoral reform. Then ask yourself who is it that is offering the most significant electoral and political reform.

- Vote for change, vote conservative. Isn't that an oxymoron?

- The hustings (candidate's debate) held by Wakefield Baptist Church exposed the tory candidate to be considerably incapable. Hysterically and offensively incapable actually. The labour candidate (and current MP) is, as an individual, very convincing, but sadly she couldn't escape the state the country has got into on her party's watch. The lib-dem candidate came over much as the rest of his party are doing at the moment: energised, creative, modern, open and credible. The green party candidate did her job; she raised the green agenda well and made intelligent insights on contemporary society and politics without looking in danger of being elected.

- If you have the opportunity before 6th May (not that it will be rendered useless after that date, but it might be a good influence before it) i would heartily recommend getting hold of Mark Thomas' 'The People's Manifesto'. It's a few quid and a lightening quick read. It takes a very creative approach to lots of the issues on the political agenda, as well a several that really should be there but aren't. Oh, and did i mention it's wet-yourself-funny?

Other thoughts:
- The life injected into British politics by the TV debates.
- Constant surprise at the degree of apathy that continues to exist, perpetuated by the incredibly misguided notion that politics is an optional subject within society, rather than the construction of society.
- The lack of political education received by my generation.
- The question of the place of nationalism before God.
- The way moments, like calling members of your electorate bigoted, will swing this election

Is Danny Rose's goal fur real!?

2010-04-19T21:21:00.002+01:00

Stand up if you hate Arsenal...

2010-04-15T16:47:00.011+01:00

The second clip on this post features some very strong language and i would therefore advise those of a nervous disposition to wait for the next post and not participate in this one.

Last night was an epic and perfect night for Tottenham Hotspur, getting back into the race for 4th in the premiership by beating the gooner monkeys and ruining their title hopes in the process.

1999 was the last time Spurs beat the filth in the league...

This has been a long time coming and oh boy was it sweet...

Coca-Killer .4

2010-04-09T12:13:00.010+01:00

Brand Dis-recognition.

I've done this as a mini-series for a couple of reasons. Firstly, breaking this whole thing into parts made it easier for me to construct the points i wanted to make in response to the book. Secondly, without breaking it up it would have been an epic post and therefore much less digestible. But the main reason for doing it this way is because Coke is a nothing product. It's not even a nothing product, it's a less than nothing - a negative value product. What i mean is it's not something we need. It's a fizzy pop. It's water, sugar and whatever that secret '7x' ingredient is. It's actually really, really bad for you.

And this is the point - the only thing they have, therefore, is the image. They sell some fantastical ideal that makes you feel like you're participating in something magical when you get that 'pffsssst' of opening a bottle. And even more so as the first glug of fizzy washes down your throat. They have their funny shaped bottles and a brand, and that's it. That's why their advertising budget has to be so (literally) astronomical (2008 - US$655 billion, a figure that could sustain the UN and all its operations for 33 years!): It has to perpetuate this beautiful myth about itself. And therefore the more times i get to use the...

...logo the more it causes a questioning of their myth; it ever so slightly dents their claims of being 'the real thing'; it stops us handing over our money for their fattening-teeth-rotting-joy-in-a-bottle quite as mindlessly as they would like. Hence four posts, not just one.

Do check out and get hold of Belching Out The Devil, it is very compelling and well researched (although, infuriatingly, all his footnotes are at the back of the book), as well as being very moving and funny.

Coca-Killer .3

2010-04-09T11:12:00.011+01:00

Shake it up.

There's the story of the guy who's something of an anti-Coke campaigner... who's a not insignificant share holder. He uses the profit from his shares to run a large homeless shelter, and he uses his position as share holder to attend annual stock holder meetings to attempt to shape policy. He's not alone, there are a band of people who own shares so they can get to these meetings and do likewise. All you need is one share to get into these meetings. As i was reading this i thought how brilliant a means of addressing the issues of Coke's, um, fallibility.

Doing such a thing of course means that you'd be actively looking to get a reduced return on your investment. Would it be charity? Could it be seen, in a different light, as buying human rights? Would it be effective?

On the one hand Coke is painted out to be (by itself) a company going through the growing pains of corporate social responsibility. This is verified by this share-owning-protestor character acknowledging that a speech delivered by Coke's CEO wouldn't have happened even 3 years previous. However, on the other hand, this guy's pitching of the idea of Coke appointing a human rights board comittee is met with derision, and noises of massive support are instead given to the gentleman who says "to the naysayers, The Coca-Cola Company is not the conscience of the world, or the policeman of the world. The mission of The Coca-Cola Company is to enhance shareowner value and I think they do a terrific job in that. And I have another personal message for the naysayers: Sell your shares and get out of the way. Thank you".

It seems that Coke will only begin to pay attention when their profits are lessened due to their immoral practises. The way to do this? Abstain from Coca-Cola products and let Coke know why, thus supporting those looking to affect change from the inside.

Do check out and get hold of Belching Out The Devil, it is very compelling and well researched (although, infuriatingly, all his footnotes are at the back of the book), as well as being very moving and funny.

Coca-Killer .2

2010-04-09T10:53:00.011+01:00

No-one like Coke.

This exploitative stuff that Coke gets up to is all well and good, but it's nothing we haven't heard before. We know this is how massive multinational corporations ensure their standing - these are the ways you get the biggest profit margins. It's this kind of awareness that can so often lead to compassion fatigue's twin sister: ethical consumer fatigue. So what's particular about Coke in this instance?

There is a point in the book where one of Coke's PR bodies asks tubby, little, lonesome Mark, from behind however many billion dollars worth of brand recognition and lawyers, "Why are you picking on us?". Mark obviously has something of a field day with the idea of Coke playing victim to him, but the question is reiterated "No, why us, why not Pepsi or someone?". Mark's response was quite simply "Well, no-one has the number of human rights abuse charges against them that you do".

Do check out and get hold of Belching Out The Devil, it is very compelling and well researched (although, infuriatingly, all his footnotes are at the back of the book), as well as being very moving and funny.

Coca-Killer .1

2010-04-09T09:55:00.016+01:00

The sweetness in light.

I've just finished reading Mark Thomas' book Belching Out The Devil. I've been reading it on and off for about a year, but yesterday, in the bath (where i do my very best reading), i finished it.

It took just 2 chapters for me to decide to give up Coca-Cola products. Well, 2 chapters and a quick scan of the end of the book to check that it didn't finish with the lines "...and that's how Coke made the shift to becoming the ethical corporate role model we see today". It didn't.

The book is Mark's personal account of his travels around the world - Columbia, India, Mexico, Turkey, Ireland, El Salvador, England and USA - as he follows leads about Coke's exploitation of its workers and the communities in which it bases its production. His journey takes in, amongst other things:

- Murders of workers looking to unionise by para-militaries who understand that Coke will move operations elsewhere if unions get off the ground in Columbia.

- Child workers harvesting sugar in cane fields.

- Coke's water use depriving communities and villages of water for drinking and farming.

- Protection racket tactics used by Coke sales reps on shopkeepers attempting to sell other cola products.

Do check out and get hold of Belching Out The Devil, it is very compelling and well researched (although, infuriatingly, all his footnotes are at the back of the book), as well as being very moving and funny.

worshipping with the enemy

2010-03-17T11:10:00.003Z

Here is a link to a conversation i'm / we're having with a friend of mine about the ways differing sides of the discussion about gay people and the church do / can / should relate to one another.

I'm linking to this not because i think we're discussing it well necessarily, but rather because i think it's a massively important point. How is the church to call priorities between people and issues, particularly when the issues are so closely related to people?

I'm also linking to this because the energy i've put into the comments outweigh the energy i put into most of my own posts. Feel free to either join the discussion there or leave comment here, if you fancy.

loves.

2010-02-24T13:20:00.009Z

Bit late. Point still stands.

Despite Bill Hicks' observations that "people in marketing are Satan's little helpers, ruining all things 'good', filling the world with bile and garbage, devoid of rationalisation for what they do, and for whom the only means of salvation open to them is the taking of their own lives", ...some adverts are pretty enjoyable.

Here's an advert for Puma using Spurs fans to draw parallels between passion for football and romantic passion. It also features a reasonable amount of beer too. Look out for the 'Westlife-key-change-step-forward' moment.

Kelly, this is for you x

Disclaimer: The title of this post, 'loves', is in no way a reference to Savage Garden or their music. The inclusion of their music in this post was unavoidable for the sake of the rest of its content and is only to be viewed in one of two ways a)An exercise in attempting to redeem the music of said group by using liberal doses of irony, humour and toothlessness, or b)A demonstration of the only thing said group is good for, i.e. football terrace based abuses.
Management apologises for any upset or confusion caused.

When music moves you.

2010-02-22T14:02:00.008Z

In the tail end of the 15th Century Glen Marshall tagged me in a music meme. The idea is to talk about some of the moments where music has entirely captured you rather than just talking about stuff you like or listen to a lot.

I would die for music, and i feel like i might die without it - though i'm entirely without musical ability - which is why i'm surprised at how difficult i've found this exercise. Is it fair for me to say i don't think my parents have particularly good or broad taste in music? Well, either way, i've said it now. The stuff i remember being played around the house as a kid was worship stuff, Cliff Richard, Tina Turner's Private Dancer album (!! thanks for this, mum), Genesis' Invisible Touch album, The Hollies and Paul Simon's Graceland album (a much more sincere thanks for this!), there was Peter and The Wolf too. Dad played a lot of Country, but talked a lot about reggae. What i recall is (though i may be mistaken) that most of my exposure to music came from outside the home, and even then lots and lots of it was 'Christian music'. Most of which i don't count by virtue of how much it feels, and felt, like a pseudo-sanitised substitute, in the same way Canderel is.

The first live music i saw that wasn't Christian was one of my favourite groups, Jamiroquai, on the Synkronized tour at the NEC in June 99.I was nearly 20. I distinctly remember saying something out loud in disbelief at what was happening to me in the introduction to Soul Education.

A second Jamiroquai moment was on Monday 18th April 2005. In the January my grandad had died and upon returning home from his funeral i found out a friend had taken his own life, which also obviously had an enormous impact on my group of friends. I was training for the London Marathon at this point and even though running had become the most pointless of things in light of these events, the charity i was supporting was worthy of me running while suspending grief. Race day had brought a sense of closure to the whole thing and i felt freed to grieve. Travelling back up to Wakey on the Monday morning Jo Wiley had the first play of the first single, Feels Just Like It Should, from the new Jamiroquai album, Dynamite. It started just as i'd parked at a service station and i remember asking the question 'What the hell is going on with THIS?', i remember the sound of my car speakers begging for mercy, and i remember the feeling of a new beginning.

There was enormous joy at finding Free's Alright Now amongst my parent's records just at the time that Wrigley's advert was on telly. I sat at the turntable and played it over and over, loving it and wondering if my parents had been cool at some point.... Raise the parking rate...

Leonard Cohen. Glastonbury 2008. Pyramid stage. Sunset. Hallelujah.

The other of my favourite groups: Blur. Glastonbury 2009. Pyramid stage. Tender being sung back at Blur by an audience who refused to stop.

Dodging a meeting at Spring Harvest 1995 with 4 or 5 friends, was caught up with by a couple of youthworkers on the detached team. One of them had a guitar. He played High And Dry by Radiohead. All the muscles in my face must have appeared to vanish.

This experience warmed me up nicely for hearing Paranoid Android for the first time two years later on the school bus.

Aged 11, best friend Dan on a visit back home to South Wales during a stint living in Paisley, Glasgow. He plays me a song he's discovered - Candi Staton's You Got The Love. Dum Dum Der Dum-Dum. Church music is never the same for me after that.
Glasto 2008 the two of us watch her perform it live. (No Dan, to the best of my knowledge she's still not dead ;o))

Infant school assemblies could be moving, particularly the day we were taught Cum-Bay-Ah and told how it was a slave song.

In 1992 Fu-Schnickens proved once and for all that hip hop was indeed the greatest the moment Chip-Fu started rapping backwards on Movie Scene on the F.U. Don't Take It Personal album. My eyes shot out of my head, i shot out of my seat to try and catch them, then i screamed and laughed for around half an hour solid as we played it again and again.

Bohemian Rhapsody, Roni Size's Brown Paper Bag, Dylan's fury in Hurricane, Arrested Development's friend Mr.Wendal, Stevie Wonder - As, Bob Marley shooting the sheriff.
And the rest.

So, music, it's all love, and so i feel bad for the rest of the moments for bringing these ones to the fore, but here's some particular instances of time, place, music and me converging into a blur.

Thanks for the tag Glen. Sorry 'bout the bad press mum. Love you x

You know it's true, everything i do...

2010-02-10T14:38:00.010Z

-----------------------Now cast a vote.---------------------

Ever tried to explain the offside rule to a woman?

2010-02-10T12:50:00.005Z

Ever seen male professional referees and referee's assistants fail astoundingly to execute the offside rule?

What better for a 101st post than a spot of feminism?

Fact number 83: There is no reason WHATSOEVER why women shouldn't referee football matches played by either gender at any level.

Praise God for Amy Fearn.

Dust Bowl Dance.

2010-02-10T11:28:00.004Z

Noticed this would be my 100th post. Thought it fitting to post on music and theology since they are the two labels i've used most. This is mostly music, but it reeks of spiritual themes.

This is my favourite song of the moment, it's from the brilliant Mumford & Sons album 'Sigh No More'. Got the album for Christmas - haven't been able to stop listening to it, and this, to my mind, is its stand out track. In it i hear gentle allusions to a day where one faces God, but the idea seems to be, rather than simply being awestruck, the full gamut of feeling is expressed.

It builds wonderfully slowly to its emphatic climax and drinks up expressions of humility, frailty, frustration, anger, regret and sorrow, but leaving a residue of hope and peace. Beautiful.

The Book of Eli.

2010-01-19T10:44:00.012Z

What then, shall we say of The Bible and its place in our world?

The Book Of Eli is that rare thing: a Hollywood action blockbuster, with graphic novel tendancies, about the Bible and our engagement with it. Not only this, but it has some reasonably astute comments to make and is broadly sympathetic to scripture - and as a piece of cinema it stands up too.

This film is from the Hughes Brothers, who haven't been prolific, but made a huge impression with their 1993 debut Menace II Society. Denzel Washington is as magnetic as ever, while Gary Oldman does his very best Jack Nicholson impersonation. The film is reminiscent of Children of Men (another post-apocalyptic film of a lone man attempting to transport cargo important for the purposes of humanity to a destination that may or may not exist), but this does it no dis-service.

These are some of the points it raises for discussion.
> The Bible has an inate power which we can harness to suit and further our own agenda, or which we can submit to, internalise and allow to lead us.

> The Bible is a cultural artefact, but that's not all it is.

> The film makes propostions about the role of God in the Bible's inspiration and preservation.

> When humanity is stripped back to its base state the Bible remains incredibly valuable.

> More often than not in our world the Bible is used as a means of control rather than a means of freedom.

> It's possible, common even, that the Bible be intimately known but not understood.

> Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth.

> The place of Bible study, prayer, confession and testimony are to be celebrated.

> The Spirit of the Lord is upon me because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour.

> It asks which is more important, the Bible itself and its survival for the future, or faithfulness to its message in the present?

> Do to others as you would have them do to you.

> If you're not a slave to, and imprisoned by, God, you won't be free, you'll simply be a slave to your own desires.

>It exposes the way the context in which the Bible's read has a bearing on its meaning - "valley of the shadow of death".

It isn't however, perfect - blowing shit up, big guns and lopping off limbs is pretty cool. Jesus is conspicuously absent, though he is quoted. And whilst it does look to inspire people to pick up a Bible again, it also affirms the idea that if you're familiar with a couple of popular passages you pretty much know the whole thing.

...That's what i got from it anyway.

Here's a cheeky wink to those who've seen it:

Head Room.

2010-01-19T10:21:00.003Z

I used to be made fun of for being lttle, sometimes i still do. That's fine, at 5'7/5'8 and with a slight frame, i am quite little. Sometimes comments made are even funny.

Peculiar then, that for a man of my stature i find myself struggling for head room. Christmas and New Year has seen me and all sorts of my energies embroiled in
- assignment writing (no mean feat)
- exploring, considering and feeling all manner of tensions in church life
- the night shelter (and all affiliated cold weather matters)
- my 'calling' (whatever the hell that is)
- the process of being settled in a church come the end of my training
- my response to the Baptist Union's political and theological approach to matters of human sexuality.

All this as well as trying to have a sense of festive celebration, and my usual quandries over my existence and whether to opt for the beer or the scotch. I don't think i've done too badly, for a little fella.

They say 2000 zero zero party over, oops out of time.

2009-12-20T05:28:00.006Z

At the stroke of midnight, the evening of 31st December 1999, aside from partying like it was 1999 (which, as i've mentioned, it was), I was stood amongst a group of close friends within a bigger group of people i'd never met before. Gathered as we had in the Millenium Stadium Cardiff for a big gig headlined by the Manic Street Preachers, we were waiting to sing Auld Lang Sine one with another. What happened instead was we sang Let It Be.

Just yesterday i heard that song played for only perhaps the fifth or sixth time this decade, and it took me back almost ten years to the day. 'What exactly did i let be?' i began to wonder to myself...

What does this past decade mean? I aged from 20 to 30 years old; got married, stayed married; bought a house (then sold it and bought another); got a job (though not a 'proper job'); revolved around church; watched a lot of telly, and some films; didn't travel so much; learnt to drive; cheered at some sporting events, wept at others, even competed in a few; had more experience of death than in the twenty years previous (i wonder if that's related to the seismic shift that's taken place in my faith perspective?); vomitted more than i'd like; danced less than i imagined i would; laughed some too; and talked a lot of crap. Is any of that 'meaning'?

What did you let be?

Memo to all Gregorian calendar users

2009-12-17T17:46:00.004Z

Head office has asked me to pass on the following memo to you all. It's just a minor point of administration, and there are no sanctions for those who don't go along with this, but H.O feel it will lead to better functionality all round if you do. Thanks.

As of January 1st, two weeks from now, we will be entering a new year and a new decade. H.O ask that we all refer to this year as 20-10 (twenty ten) rather than 2010 (two thousand and ten).

This for two simple reasons. First is because of the difference in the number of syllables - 3 to 5. The second reason is because if we don't do it now we never will; we'll go all the way through this century, right up until two thousand and ninety nine, sounding (and breathing) like idiots every time we refer to the year.

The only reason 'two thousand and...' was adopted was to avoid confusion between the years 2009 and 29 for instance. We never spoke of 'the year one thousand nine hundred and ninety seven' and we now have an opportunity to move back to normal speech. The need to speak this way has passed, it no longer serves a function except to make you sound like you're referring to some distant Kubrickian future-scape.

Many thanks,
your servant, A. Amoss.

PS. This new decade is NOT 'the Teenies' regardless of what the red-tops say.

9-1

2009-11-25T13:23:00.006Z

Glory, glory Tottenham Hotspur!
Oh when the Spurs - Go marching in - Oh when the Spurs go marching in...

I've just had it drawn to my attention that i'm older than all the players in the Spurs squad - except Cudicini. But he's a goalkeeper who spends his whole time on the bench, notwithstanding his serious motorcycle injuries he's currently recovering from. I think my goose is cooked.

Harry Brown

2009-11-19T12:12:00.007Z

The new Michael Caine film, in which he plays the eponymous Harry Brown, is some what confused. In Taxi Driver De Niro spoke the line "One day a rain will come that will wash all the scum off the streets". He then sets about becoming that rain and we watch as it costs him his sanity, his soul and his ideals. By looking to do away with sickness, he only serves to perpetuate it. Harry Brown (the film, as opposed to the titular character) looks like it's doing a lot of moralising and has the appearance of good artistic sensibilities, but its message is essentially that the way forward is to go over the heads of the failed justice system and blow away the criminal element. It is by this means that Harry Brown (the titular character, as opposed to the film) finds peace and justice for himself and his community.

The best term i've heard used to classify the film is 'chavsploitation'. The South London estate Harry lives on is plagued by a gang completely devoid of any morality. They are, classically, raised by single mothers (fathers absent by either death, non-commitment or imprisonment), armed, connected with serious and organised criminal activity, drug-dealing, turf-conscious, violent, remorseless, wild and chaotic scum bags from your nightmares. These characters are set-up to be completely beyond redemption and vile to the core so when they get what's coming we're in no doubt about what a good thing is happening. These characters are also set-up to be associated in your mind with those kids round where you live.

The film seems to use the 'from bad stock' argument as further reason to write them off, rather than as reason to consider exploring cycles of abuse.

What's confused is that Harry and the film gradually see more and more of this underworld and how systemic and far reaching its culture, and its causes and effects, are. Yet, by the end, one man and one man's murders have solved the problems of his estate. With all that in mind it's not surprising that the Daily Mail writer says "Finally a film that really matters". The idea of wiping out a class of people as a solution completely disregards the filling of the void that would remain and the fact that the problems are symptomatic of deeper ills in society.

One of the things that was most disturbing about the film was its conviction of the unchangeable, unrepentant nature of the villainous characters. This is disturbing because it portrays our freedom of choice as a much more limited thing than we might like. Abuse and cycles of destruction in culture and through generations have enormous power, and to suggest that our individual freedom of choice is enough to counter it is probably very naive. Enter God's power into the fray! Except in my experience (which adds to my disturbed state) even 'saved' and baptised people are held by culture, addiction and patterns of old and of character.

So i think i'm left with unproven faith, my stupid hope and love.

X - crement Factor

2009-11-17T10:15:00.005Z

Farce! X-factor is a farce (it's always been a farce) but now, finally, the public have realised and are treating it like the farce it is. Amen.

Between John and the other John, all the 'shock' exits, and the 'judges' impartiality being massively and pantomimically compromised by their management of particular acts, the show's true colours are exposed.

I liked Rachel, really liked Rachel - before they changed her! She was a real talent with genuine, icy and androgynous star-quality. I don't think she was getting votes because she was too much the finished article. So much so the public couldn't root for her as one of their own. Then they changed her hair and made her skip, screech and gush while being interviewed, and it's bye-bye Rachel.

Louie banging on and on about rules as though the show, or his act, or he himself have an ounce of integrity between them! And sociopathic Cowell identifying the public's spirit towards the show and thus allowing the £££££s to direct his decisions - "Oh, alright then, i Like John and Edward too really".

Meanwhile, the whole country's gone mad for it, facebook has gone into X-Factor meltdown, most of the press is page 1-5 in the show's 'controversy' and gossip, and, really, do we need 3 hours a week of this enlightenment, plus all the x-tra factor nonsense - and repeats?

It causes me to wonder whether the personna of our public conscious would be able to sustain such a level of passion and commitment to something more meaningful, and if so, why doesn't it?

Olly to win! And then be completely forgotten about until his guest appearance on next years puppet show.

Not going to do it.

2009-11-09T20:07:00.001Z

This is me resisting the urge to pass comment on the X-Factor.