Rotten smelling things, or the truth and other fictions .2

I am, it may have caught your attention, a MASSIVE football fan. One of my very favourite things in all the world is playing football. I played last night and took a nasty stud to the ankle. Nursing it today and feeling it ache, is a pleasure - such is the twisted extent of my love of the game. I adore Tottenham Hotspur, they're such an incredible club to follow; so regularly being close to success, and so often cocking it up provides the fullest experiences imaginable for a football fan. We regularly get both ends of the drama. At the moment we're riding particularly high, which just means trying to enjoy it while waiting for the crash. What a rush! Internationally, i follow England. I make a point of always following England, catching all the friendlies and all the qualifiers, not just riding the wave that comes around every two years (if we're lucky). Suffice to say, the idea of England hosting the FIFA World Cup(tm) 2018 would, to me, be amazing! The greatest footballing nations in the world competing for the game's greatest prize, on these shores, would be a dream. I don't need to mention that the last time it was here we won it, but i will.

Watching last night's Panorama programme, however, saw me agree with, ahem, David Mellor. This is more surprising to me than it is to you, i can assure you. Not only is he a peculiar looking Conservative Party member who is partial to extra-marital ventures, particularly ones involving toes, but he's a Chelski fan too.

Anyway, his point was that as the inventors of the beautiful game we should press FIFA hard to clear up corruption in its ranks, rather than bow and scrape to them for the right to host their competition.

You see, the programme asked questions about money which appears to show FIFA executive committee members having taken bribes from its marketing company in exchange for votes which would secure lucrative World Cup contracts with sponsors. Not only this, but it showed how nations bidding to host the event subject themselves to every desire FIFA has. In some cases new laws must be passed to allow The World Cup to go ahead in the manner to which FIFA is accustomed. This, according to representatives of the Dutch bid, includes the suspension of workers rights and 'protection' for sponsors - inclusive of complete tax breaks on their behalf. These sponsors aren't minnows by the way, these sponsors are companies like Coca-Cola, Mars and McDonald's (i wonder if Panorama should do a show investigating just what any of these companies think their products have to do with the world of professional sports).

When challenged about this the former sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe MP, said it was reasonable "because the benefits of hosting the World Cup outweigh the disbenefits". Clearly 'The George W. Bush School For Elocution' is finally off the ground, and Mr. Sutcliffe is just one example of the many people whose use of language has been disunconfused.

So what of FIFA? Surely the responsible thing to do is face up to charges and clear out corruption rather than do nothing but look offended. That wreaks of a body who knows it's dirty to the core. To not even be able to make a pretence of interest in routing out corruption, in favour of insisting - despite the evidence - on innocence, is a mark of deep guilt. It reminds me of a bunch of young people who've been seen doing things wrong who, when challenged, insist "I never!".
- But there, see? Look, that's you on the video tape.
- But i never!
- But, that's you, we're both watching you do it right now.
- But i never!
All that's left is the protestation of innocence.

And what of our bid? Well, now, despicably, two days from the FIFA vote which will decide who hosts the World Cup in 2018, Cameron, Beckham, and others responsible for landing the bid are busy schmoozing with FIFA and condemning the BBC for running the programme for fear it will have damaged England's chances. I'm with Mellor(!?), let's please not worship FIFA so they might in turn grace us a with a dirty (yet massively profitable) rag of a competition. I for one don't want it. Can't we rather impress on them a refusal to acknowledge their power until they restore fairness and integrity to the game we love?

Oh, and FIFA, sort out goal-line technology! I'd love to know where the money that's blocking that one is coming form.